Monday, June 29, 2020

100 WC

It was pitchblack. Nothing could be seen. I tried to look through the darkness but I just couldn’t see through it. “Screeeeech” There was a funny noise coming from down the back... What was it? Scared to death, I stayed still. There was nothing but silence. Then all of a sudden, “BANG!” out of nowhere “CRASH!” I was hesitant to move but I knew I had to. So I got up, walked over quietly to the back of the hallway… “BANG!” another one!? Petrified, I ran. I just ran and ran and ran. The hallway was like an endless maze. There was no way out and then I saw it...
at

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 9, 2020 at 7:45 PM

    Beginning with those short staccato sentences, this piece has enormous impact on the reader Lesieli. Excellent onomatopoeia, perfect punctuation and pace have me sharing this scary situation with you and of course the ellipsis at the end charges my imagination even further.
    Do you think that using 'Suddenly' rather than 'All of a sudden' might have more impact?
    Thanks for sharing,
    Jackie (Team 100WC)
    New Plymouth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousAugust 5, 2020 at 4:06 PM

      Thank you for the suggestion and for commenting! I'll definitely take your suggestion on board.

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Why We Should Have More Interschools

Oamaru Intermediate School Pembroke Street Oamaru 9400 Dear Mrs Healy,      I strongly think that Oamaru Intermediate school should have mor...

  • Plastic Pollution (Blogging Challenge Week 5)
                           Plastic Pollution Did you know that over 400,000 marine animals die every year due to plastic pollution in the ocea...
  • 100 WC
    It was pitchblack. Nothing could be seen. I tried to look through the darkness but I just couldn’t see through it. “Screeeeech” There was a ...
  • ✏️ Drawing Challenge (number 5) 📝
    I chose to do drawing challenge number 5, where I had to draw something, anything using only 3 colours. I decided to pick random colours ...